Darkness and Images
by doornumberthree
Summary: Another missing moment that focuses on Soda's emotions during the time when Johnny and Pony were hiding at the church. Shows how Soda was able to get that letter to Pony, and also shows another facet to Soda's character.Rated for language.PLEASE R&R.


It had been just a few hours after Darry had hauled off and hit Ponyboy after he fell asleep in the vacant lot. Soda knew Darry didn't mean it, and he also knew that Pony thought Darry hated him. Darry had been in pieces for those few hours since Pony had left, and Soda was feeling the same, except that he was just hiding it better. The Curtis boys had been through a lot together, but nothing like this before. They had seen their share of blood and tears and pain, especially after their parents had been killed. But never before had there ever been so much open animosity between the brothers. And it scared Sodapop to death.

Though it was around two thirty in the morning, Soda had called Two Bit and had him pick up the rest of the boys to go look for Pony and Johnny. Sure, Soda knew that Pony had most likely stayed on the East Side of town, Greaser territory, but it was still dangerous with all of the rivalry between the Socs and Greasers. But when Two Bit finally pulled up alone to the Curtis house, he had an usually grim and slightly confused face. The look on Two Bit's face was enough to send Darry back inside to wait by the phone, and enough for Soda to know that deep inside his heart that something was very, very wrong.

"There's a dead Soc in the park and I can't find Ponyboy or Johnny anywhere. Headed over to Buck's to see if Dally knew anything, but he was holed up with Sylvia. I ran into Steve, and he's out looking for the boys now.."

Two Bit continued to talk, listing places where he would look for them next, but Soda wasn't listening anymore. He felt a shadow darken his heart, and was pretty sure that one crossed over his face also by Two Bit's sudden silence.

And he knew it would only get worse from there.

** Time Change **

It had been exactly seventy three hours and nineteen minutes since Pony and Johnny had gone missing, and forty eight hours since the police had found the Soc's body. It had been three days of silence and tension filling the Curtis home, not alleviated even by Two Bit's jokes. It had been three days of somber conversations with the rest of the gang, of news reports, anxious waiting by the phone, and the fuzz showing up to asking questions. And Sodapop Curtis had had enough.

He walked over to Buck's in the late afternoon, and by the time he got there, it was near dark, with the first stars beginning to shine overhead. He opened the front door to Buck's, and his senses were assaulted immediately. He inhaled the scent of stale beer and cigarettes. He heard the echoes of giggly Greaser girls as they danced in the center of the room. His eyes adjusted slowly, and when they did, Soda began to pick his way through all the people. He finally found the cooler filled with cold beer and then found an empty chair in the corner of the room. Soda was gaining a few curious looks from the partiers, especially from girls wondering why such a good looking kid was hanging out here.

But Soda didn't see any of these curious stares or even some of the sympathetic glances from those that knew about Pony and Johnny. All Soda could see were images of Pony and Johnny lying in some cold alley somewhere. All he could see was Pony lying there, probably bruised and bloody, and thinking that Darry hated him, and that Soda didn't care enough to come find him.

Soda couldn't stand the images anymore. He downed the rest of his beer. Bolstered by the sudden alcohol-induced confidence, Soda set off in search of something. He didn't know what, but he was looking for something.

What he found was Dallas Winston emerging from an upstairs bedroom with his shirt unbuttoned and long scratch marks on his shoulders and chest- scratch marks that looked suspiciously like fingernail scratch marks. These marks were accompanied by a slow, lazy, and satisfied tomcat grin. Dally glanced up, seeing Soda on the stairs. "Sodapop,"

"Dally, quit bullshittin' me. Only reason you've been stayin' away from the house is because you god damned know where Pony is!" Soda bit out in an angry tone.

Dallas just raised his eyebrows in seemingly uncaring aloofness. "Told you the same thing I told the fuckin' fuzz. Only word I've heard is that they're somewhere down in Texas. Got it?"

"Bullshit!" Soda hollered, his angelically sculpted face creasing into an expression of agonizing pain, worry, and anger.

Dally was silent a moment, his blue eyes cold and calculating. Finally he sighed. "Look, maybe if you wanted to pass along a message or something to the kid, I could maybe find a way to get it there,"

Soda let his stiff shoulders relax a fraction, then dug into his pocket of his blue jeans. He pulled out a creased envelope that had been sealed and reopened several times- an envelope that contained a letter to Pony and half of his salary. "Was keepin' it with me just in case," he muttered in a gruff tone. "Thanks Dal. And I'm sorry about, you know…" he gestured uncomfortably.

Dally just nodded.

Soda smiled and could feel the darkness gathered in his heart lighten just a bit. It was still there, and Soda knew that it would be until Ponyboy returned home. But for now, at least the images of Pony cold and dying were replaced by images of his brother reading that letter and knowing that he was still loved by Soda and Darry. And with each happy and hopeful image that crossed his mind and with each step he took out of Buck's, he felt one step closer to his brother and one of his best friends coming home.

**THE END**

Authors Note

Inspiration: I've been rereading the book, and as I come along, I'm finding there are certain sentences sparking my imagination. I've taken this few sentences to create a "missing moment" from the book, so to speak. The sentences I constructed this fic from are a conversation between Dally and Pony, when Pony reads Soda's letter in the church.

Pony: "A letter? From who?"

Dally:"The President, of course, stupid. It's from Soda."

Pony: "Sodapop? But how did he know….?"

Dally: "He came over to Buck's a couple days ago for something. I told him I didn't know where you were, but he didn't believe me. He gave me this letter and half his paycheck to give you. Kid, you ought to see Darry. He's taking this mighty hard…"

Notes: I really love Soda's character. I think in the book, he is given off as slightly one-dimensional. I think there is much more to him that just a pretty face and a happy personality. I think that there is something more to him, something that would cause him to go out and try to find the answers in booze. I think that this might be that Soda feels everything deeply. He doesn't just feel emotions like pain and sadness lightly… they consume him completely. I wanted to explore his character a little more and go into depth about what he might have been going through when Pony and Johnny were missing. If it feels like Soda was focusing more on Pony than on Johnny, that was intentional. I think that naturally, Soda would be more concerned with Pony than with Johnny. Not to say that he wasn't concerned about Johnny, just more so about Pony because they're blood brothers. Please let me know your thoughts on this aspect of Soda's character, I'd love to hear your opinions.

I would love some reviews!

Oh, and I had some trouble getting this on the site- so sorry for those of you that might have gotten a couple different alerts for the same story!


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